The Magic Nine: Components of Successful Stress Management

by Conrad L. Melton, M.A., D.D.

The effective management of stress is always the same.

Whether the goal is to diminish the impact of a future stressor, or accelerate the healing from a past stressor, the treatment is the same. Whether the objective is enhancing the life of an already healthy person, or developing a recovery strategy for someone who is a psychological "basket case," the treatment is the same.

Whether you are trying to recover from an argument with your spouse; or surviving a concentration camp; or suffering from a career disappointment, or the victim of a violent crime; or you have lost your home to a flood; or you're a victim of Vietnam; or you recently suffered the death of a loved one; or you would just like to handle the daily pressures of life a little bit better... the components of successful treatment are the same. I call them "The Magic Nine."

1. FRIENDSHIPS

"No man is an island" was never more true than when it comes to managing stress. Withdrawal from social contact is an extremely common symptom of those who have experienced traumatic stress. And that's okay. But beyond a certain point, having no one to share your feelings with is almost a guarantee of retarded recovery and escalated symptomology. Sharing real feelings with your spouse, neighbor, or whoever will listen with a compassionate ear is an indispensable part of every stress management/recovery program.

2. REST

Regularity of the sleep cycle is extremely important. An easily understood example is "jetlag," where disruption of our bodies' "internal clock" results in many of the common symptoms of stress. In terms of recovery, changes in sleeping patterns usually intensify and extend the duration of stress symptoms. In terms of inoculation, disrupted sleep leaves you terribly vulnerable. It doesn't matter so much what your schedule is, as long as it is regular. The "Late Late Show" is no problem if your day always begins at noon and ends at three or four a.m. For working folks, it is serious trauma.

3. EXERCISE

Twenty minutes of cardio-vascular exercise, three days a week, will burn up the biochemical secretions that your body automatically manufactures in preparation for "fight-or-flight." If you don't fight, take flight, or exercise 'em away, they will accumulate and make you grouchy, nervous, and physically ill. Regular exercise reduces the number, intensity and duration of normal reactions to common daily stressors. If you are interested in enhancing the quality of your life, it's that simple. People who are seriously "out of shape" are likely to end up with just the opposite: more reactions, and more intense reactions that last longer.

4. SPIRITUALISM

Within every living begin exists a power which defies rational explanation. It is the power of life, of growth, of healing. It is possible to ignore it and still live; but the history of mankind documents that it is a force wise men acknowledge and honor. We nourish our relationship to that power by communicating with it: in meditation, in prayer, in knowing the reality of its existence. It is not necessarily religious. Jacquelyn Small may have said it best: "We are not human beings having a spiritual existence - we are spiritual beings having a human experience." Those who are truly spiritual in their hearts, and in their behavior - probably have the best foundation for a successful life, including inoculation against, and recovery from stress.

5. HUMOR (and other WARM FUZZIES)

Laughter is great medicine. It stimulates the body's natural painkiller, enhances creativity, clarifies intellectual processes, and promotes physical healing, just to name a few. So tell more jokes, and laugh longer and louder when someone blesses you by sharing a funny story. The other dimensions of the Humor component, and equally important, is pleasurable experiences. They are affectionately known as "Warm Fuzzies." Build more of them into your life! Keep a "Fun Things To Do" list on the 'fridge and do them! Get comfortable with a good book. Drive to a mountain and watch the sunset. Give away some extra smiles - they are pure warm fuzzies, and they always boomerang. And by the way, they are wonderful behaviors to model for children... all the world's children!

6. NUTRITION

In 1989, 72% of all United States deaths could be linked directly to conditions influenced by diet. We all learned about proper nutrition as children, and the bottom line is the same now as it was then: fruits, vegetables, grains, fish and poultry, all have a major impact on illness-free living. Natural foods (if it doesn't sound like food, it isn't) are extremely important during recovery from stress, including keeping emotions stable. Alcohol, caffeine and sugar continue to be the villains.

7. AUTONOMY

The capacity of a person to successfully cope with life, independent of outside resources, is one of the most important components of successful stress management. If you didn't "catch it" as a child, it is a real tough characteristic to learn as an adult. It is the sense of control over one's life:" a knowing who you are, without validation, approval, or permission from anyone else. Some people NEVER perceive themselves as helpless. That's healthy autonomy.

8. WISDOM

Wisdom is being able to step out of one's shoes and know that this too shall pass.. no matter how bleak the world appears right now. It is also knowing that life extends beyond the boundaries of our senses, and that we are an important part of an immense and divinely ordered universe, even when we can't understand why things are the way they are. Once in a while a friend will share a bit of their wisdom with you, but usually you have to earn your own... from the life-long school of experiences.

9. KNOWLEDGE ABOUT STRESS

People who understand stressors, stress and stress reactions can DEAL with "stress" just like any other cause and effect. The more you learn about stress, the more you can make choices that provide inoculation or contribute to healing, rather than choices which exacerbate the problems. Those who truly know that stress reactions are normal, temporary, and treatable are in charge of their lives, not victims.

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