Stages of Loss
Stages through which people may pass when confronted with a loss, either their own or another's
Descending on individual needs, a person may stay in one stage for a long time, move back and forth from one stage to another, or move through each stage in the order listed below.
DENIAL
This may be expressed by feeling nothing or insisting there has been no change. It is an important stage and gives people a "time out" to reorganize. People in this stage need understanding and time.
ANGER
Often, after denying a situation, people turn around and react. This reacting can be defined as anger. It can be expressed in nightmares and fears and in disruptive behavior. People in this stage need opportunities to express anger in a positive and healthy way.
BARGAINING
The purpose of bargaining is to regain a loss. Consequently, a promise is made to do something in order to get something in return. Bargaining may be expressed through threats, tantrums or demands. It can also be expressed in angelic behavior or perfectionistic tendencies.
DEPRESSION
This sets in when it is realized that anger and bargaining will not work and one begins to understand that a change may be permanent. This is a stage of grieving for whomever or whatever is lost.
ACCEPTANCE
Acknowledgement of a loss - a period of calm after release of emotions, demonstrated by lifting of sadness and a willingness to keep living.
HOPE
Evidenced by a revitalization of energy, a renewed interest in old friends, the development of new friendships, and the return of a sense of humor.
*Adapted from materials written by: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross