Terrorism: The Days that Follow
As we move past the initial shock of the attack on September 11, 2001, many new issues will begin to emerge. The impact of the loss of so many lives will confront us even more. The personal stories have already began to be shared, which personalizes this national tragedy. The hard work of trying to identify the bodies, so that families can begin the steps of healing which start with the funeral. The mass number of funerals will once again draw the public's attention to the magnitude of this horrific attack. As we go through this process the nation as a whole will be experiencing the many stages of loss and grieve. (see Stages of Loss)
As this process continues there a number of important issues to be aware of to help your child(ren) cope with the many stages of this process: (also see Helping Children Cope With Tragic Loss)
The issue of war.
As time goes on we will hear more about how the United States has declared a War on Terrorism. Children will not understand this. It's possible that their first reaction is to think that the United States is going to war with another county. We need to help them understand that this is a very different kind of war. They will begin to see pictures of armies, fighter planes, aircraft carriers, etc. which can make the situation more frightening to them. They might have a family member or friend that has been called to serve for his or her country. Talk to your child(ren) about what they are seeing and hearing.
Expressing anger towards another person of a different culture or ethnic group.
It is important to help our children realize that the terrorists who attacked the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were a group of people who have very different idea's about the world and how to deal with its problems and conflict. These individuals have performed an evil act. This does not mean that another student or person of the same cultural background shares the same beliefs, and that they too may be feeling angry and sad about what has happened. We need to help our children learn this. It is important to teach our children constructive ways to deal with their feelings as opposed to acting them out on others. Discuss with them what they can do to help, give them some ideas if they need help. Be a role model for them. Let them hear how you are dealing with your anger as opposed to taking it out on others. Most important, talking about feelings and concerns is the adult way to cope with feelings one has. Be sure your child(ren) has someone to talk to.
SEPARATION
Staying Emotionally Healthy at a Time of Great Stress & Trauma. When one is under major stress, the issue of health becomes important. The following article, THE MAGIC NINE... Components of Successful Stress Management offers some important steps you can take to keep yourself physically and emotionally healthy. This link offers important information on the components of effective management to stress.
Most important is to realize that this attack will have effects on each of us for a long time to come. Be patient with yourself, your children and family. The healing process will be a long, slow one, but it will happen. If you have concerns about yourself or anyone in your family, please contact a mental health professional for help. Some individuals will experience a more difficult time than others. This is natural. Some individuals will need help to heal, again this is normal. Reaching out is important.
Suzanne Silverstein, M.A., A.T.R.
President, Psychological Trauma Center